An Uninvited Guest

Often I find that simple communication doesn't quite meet the needs of what I want to express.. soooo.. I write short stories, poems ect. I give my self freedom to express how I feel .. knowing that even though this is just a story.. YOU will connect with it.. because it is also pieces of reality. As you read through this next segment, take a moment to reignite your imagination and connect with the reality that we are truly living in an actively spiritual world. Enjoy! God Bless!

My brain rattled in it's skeletal cage as the clanging on the metal chair next to me was abruptly pulled out.. and with a heavy thud matched with a heavy sigh, she collapsed in the seat next to me.. she plopped her elbow down on the cold counter and rested her head on it. I was sure I saw a waft of smoke fall from her lips as she said .. "I'm so sick of this!"

I barely gave her a seconds worth of attention. I was too consumed with my own problems to give this apparent attention monger any relief. I just needed to be left alone. I wanted to stew for a moment in my sordid pit of frustration. I really didn't have time for a selfish loud mouth to disrupt my solidarity in sulking. And where did she come from anyway.. I surely didn't invite anyone to this pity party...

" Where did you come from?" I spoke through a grimace and squinted one eye in her direction

"You called me" she said with an apathetic shrug.. and proceeded to pick at her notalby jagged nails.

"What! I don't even know who you are!I don't even know how you got here.." I was astounded at the audacity of this intruder.. she was clearly too comfortable with me..

"Yes you did.. and yes you do.. I was here just yesterday" She said with a roll of her eyes.. as if to say .. " here we go again".. and folded her hands neatly on that cold counter.

My blood had turned into a full blown boil at her apparent determination to stay put.

I just couldn't get a moment's worth of peace in my life... and now this lady is here acting like every other drain in my life..

It's always something.. there's just not enough me to go around and someone always wants more than I can give..I'm never going to be good enough period.. I just need a moment to be alone.. to just be mad and hurt.. for just a second.. am I really asking too much.. really!?.. I'll be ok in a minute.. I just need to remember how much I really have accomplished and be satisfied and dust off and keep going. And now this obnoxious invader just want's to accuse me of something else I haven't done?! Fine.. I'll entertain her.. what's one more thing for someone else going to do to hurt me anyway.. I'm already spent

" Oh really? I manage to growl through gritted teeth. I turned my chair towards her with a hard stare ready to engage in yet another battle. I wasn't ready to lay down in defeat yet. Maybe I could shut her down and get her out by simply listening to what she apparently came to say.

" Of course .. I'm always come when you call?" Her disposition changing slightly as she reached over and patted my now tightly wrung hands. She smiled slightly and also turned towards me.. as she did I was certain I saw another puff a ... smoke.. maybe... seems to billow out of her mouth and wisp away before you can quite make it out.. but maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe it's my own fuming mind that's manifesting itself.

Playing her game.. I answered " Well, you certainly move fast.. I don't even remember seeing you come in the door" my jaded humor seemed to go right over her head.

As I pondered what I could say that would potentially provoke my unwanted guest to take leave.. she abruptly interrupted my thoughts.

" You look like you could use a friend anyways.." she said now her eyes even seemed to be smiling.. Caught off guard by her rapidly changing mood.. I proceeded with caution.

" Just what do you mean?" I said with a certain tone of inquisition...

" Let me get you something to drink" she said " You deserve it.. I can tell you have been working hard" .. further confounded by her now earnest interest in my well being I thought to tell her where the drinking glasses were... as I began to speak she interrupted me and said " I know where they are.."

As she searched for a glass and walked to the sink .. I suddenly felt my thoughts return to their previous greiveninces .. how can it be that this perfect stranger knows so much about me.. and seems so much more interested in my personal well being than so many of those around me...

She set the glass down in front of me in perfect silence.. the glass didn't even clink when it hit the granite counter.. and the water was eerily still.. so cold and quiet.. strange I thought.. How very different than her arrival...

She leaned over the counter across from me now.. and rested on her elbows..

" You know.. I know about all the things you do... I know how you make the beds.. and no-one notices.. and do the laundry and no-one says thank you.. you manage an entire household.. and sometimes your children don't even hardly speak to you.. how cruel and selfish of them... Don't they know how hard you work?! And why doesn't your husband do more to help.. you would think that he would notice all your suffering and do more to help you... Doesn't he see your tears? I do.. I know how every little mistake you made it scrutinized and picked over .. while you just sit back and let these people walk all over you.. and for what... because you're trying to be a good "girl" a good follower of Christ... When is it ever enough? I think you have every right to be angry.. you should just let them all take care of themselves for a week.. take a vacation.. that'll show them.. then they'll appreciate you" She said this as if she could read the very words in my mind.. how could this be? How could she see the dark script that was swirling in my own thoughts.. She seemed so genuine now.. Reaching out to hold my hands as I hung my head in dejected defeat...

She was right. All of those things she said were true.. But even as she tried to console me I felt a void grow colder and deeper in the pit of my stomach. I looked up.. and into the eyes of this consoling friend I searched for the warmth that comes from such kindness.. and yet there was none.. She reached out to cover my hand once more.. a gesture meant to encourage.. but my hand reeled back as her fingers were ice cold.. another vapor of smoke trailed thinly though her tight smile.. and disappeared into the shadows of her jaw line.

She almost seemed to be hidden behind a thin veil .. one seemingly made up of the very mist that I kept catching.. as if the more she spoke.. the thicker the veil became.. but there was no life behind it. Growing again uncomfortable with my uninvited guest I suddenly felt trapped.

Her words of hatred towards my family.. and even my very life washed over me like a poisonous bath.. Suddenly guilt and and shame swallowed up my heart and spit me out like a wasted rag... I was hopeless.. angry.. lost.. and now trapped by this intruder who seemed to own my every thought. I needed to run! Run away! Run... run.. run.. but where .. and to whom could I find refuge.. I just wanted to be whole.. and warm again.. I needed light...I needed to breath .. but there was no air here. The room now seemed to be filled with the ominous vapor that had been drifting from her mouth at every word and now I was choking on it... as I lay suffocating, staring into the glass eyes of the oppressor.. I knew her name... She was right.. I had called her before.. She was " Pride" I had invited her into my home.. and drank her water.. and even choked on these vapors .. It all came rushing back to me. Righteous anger pounded in my chest.. I exhaled a breath " Jesus please forgive me. Rescue me from the entangled arms of pride.. banish her from my home and never let her in again" I remembered how I loved my family.. how I loved my husband.. how I loved my God.. I would sacrifice my every waking moment and breath to love on them eternally. I didn't want to be thanked.. I didn't want their praises... I wanted to seek the Lord's face in everything I did.. I wanted to see my children in the Kingdom of heaven.. life or death.. praises and thanks mattered not.. Just to be free to be with the Lord and Love like He has commanded me to do. " Oh God chase away this Pride and let my heart be humble and warm again" Fill me up Oh Lord with a song of Praise"

As I closed my eyes and began to sing a quiet song.. the air around me began to feel light again... the breath in my lungs was clear and peace began to fill the empty spaces inside my soul... as I opened my eyes again.. through what was still fading in the mist.. I could see the light.. the warmth spread through the room and I could hear my God whisper.. " Sweet child remember the light is always here .. don't let the smoke of pride choke it out.. instead pour out your heart to Me.. and I will cover you in grace and mercy as you will do for those you love. Together .. we will love the world into a place of hope until the day we are together in heaven"

Scripture:

2nd Chronicles 32

25 But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the LORD’s wrath was on him and on Judah and Jerusalem.

26 Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah.

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