Falling in Love with YOUR Family: 3 Ways to Renew & Reset your closest Relationships
- Christen Moore
- Sep 7, 2022
- 5 min read
Did you know there is a "sound" to collective insanity? Why yes! Yes, there is! Let me describe it to you now.. it sounds like a 5-year-old boy in the 3rd-row seats tapping his window every time he sees a tree, building, car.. etc.. and announcing each and every item he is viewing as it rolls by his little square window in an uninterrupted stream of linguistic rhythm. Simultaneously the other 5-year-old next door to him also involved in his own scenic world of wonders was buzzing about something incoherent.. but buzzing non-stop nonetheless.
Meanwhile, stuck smack in the middle of our two little buzzing bees was our 1-year-old... and in a fantastic sing-song fashion, he was jabbering about some toy cars that were in a constant air fight I'm sure because they were defiantly on constant collision. Moving forward into the middle row was our 7-year-old daughter .. who had decided that this was the perfect opportunity to perform her very own megastar concert.. and we would all be blessed by her vocal aspirations.. for the rest of the ride home. Our other daughter was gently sitting in her seat next to said 7 year old... minding her own 14-year-old business. At this moment, I came out of my "mom fog" and realized the inhabitants in my car were literally losing their minds... and turned to look at my husband for empathy.. only to find... He had abandoned ALL of his senses and joined the dark side! He was actively engaged in humming and whistling and intermittently tapping his window to some unheard tune I'm sure existed only in his mind.. at the lack of appropriate response from my sweet husband I turned back to my quiet 14-year-old.. and we met eyes... each of us with a look of " seriously!" to which I promptly responded to by jumping into a loud rendition of the best "jingle bells" I had ever set my heart to. It was August btw. It was at this moment the entire car stopped ... and everyone was staring at me... and I simply said.. " well -if you can't beat 'em.. join 'em" .. to which they all immediately re-engaged in their previous endeavors to rattle my brain. My 14-year-old daughter survived this event btw.. with a few giggles along the way. I'm not sure if Jesus would have busted out in a Christmas Carol at that moment, but I know He sure has something to say about how to love people in their hardest-to-love moments.
3 Ways to Renew and Reset Your Closest Relationships
Our family spent many years with 8 plus people at our dinner table. It has changed many times along the way but there have been many treasured meals full of love and fellowship there. Some of the greatest moments of love can be found amongst the dirty dishes left in the sink. For that reason, I find it is fitting to express three primary ways you can love your family the way you might prepare a meal for them.
1) Setting the Table: "Laying a Foundation of Love"
Before we can bring everyone to the table. There must actually be a table and it must be prepared for the number of guests invited. If your table is nonexistent or has been broken, there is a DIY opportunity here:
Jesus Did It First: He gave us the blueprint for the cosmic and everlasting design of Love! He demonstrated it and then he handed us the eternal instruction manual. While there are many scriptures that will point us in the right direction there is one set in particular that lays the groundwork for a beautifully inviting table.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
2) Preparing the Meal: "Speaking their Language"
Now that you have a beautiful table and have invited your guests, what will you feed them? Do they eat the same thing as you? Or do they all eat differently? Will you be able to accept their different needs from you and each other?
To help sort these tough questions out we can refer back to our "manual". What ingredients from our recipe for Love can we use in this stage of preparing?
Primarily, when we are preparing to serve or rather communicate our love for one another it is critically important that we address the needs of those we intend to actively "love on".
Here is our Primary Scripture or (ingredient)
1st Corinthians 4:5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
If you want to really prepare a meal for someone you use the ingredients you know are safe and desirable for them. You are thinking first of their needs before your own. At times this means sacrificing the things you may desire and in a room full of people with different needs a willingness to be flexible from person to person. Knowing that each individual is equally valuable and important and building trust in you.
3)Serving The Meal: "Check Your motives... speak in Love"
The best part! Sharing a meal together! As you have taken the time to prepare a table and learn how to prepare the food for your guests ( your family) it matters how you deliver and share your meal.
1st Corinthians 4:6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
As you deliver your meal, your love, your time, your words.. whatever your communication is for your carefully prepared meal, remember that your delivery will speak volumes about your motive. The truth about how you feel about your loved ones will be most evident at this stage of the meal and although you may at times feel like serving up a dish of good old-fashioned wisdom, or "helpful" criticism, you must remember if it isn't from a place of Love and guidance from our Heavenly Father.. it will leave a bitter after taste and lose all of its savory benefits. Truth isn't heard unless it is spoken in love and out of a desire to protect and with hopes of a future in fellowship.
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